humor | Apothecary Shed

Best Banana Birthday

March 2, 2026

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Romey always finds the very best cards.

3C is 60 to you and me

Critical New Machine in the House

March 2, 2026

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This machine increases our efficiency and speed by over 1,000 fold.

Artichokes and Hollandaise

February 14, 2026

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When I was around 3 or 4, my pappy—mom’s dad, who was a flying ace in WWI, started the peruvian air force, and taught us how to mislead mom—died. Well meaning neighbors from all over our East Tennessee suburban neighborhood of Colonial Heights brought endless cassaroles and other dining monstrosities.

At three, I found this insanely not good. So after a few too many days of grean beans soaked in campbell’s mushroom soup topped with dehydrated onions, I went crying to mom and asked her when she would please cook for us again.

Touched, she said. “Oh honey, I will cook you anything you want for dinner. What would you like?” To which she expected a reply suitable to a three year old like “hotdogs” or “hamburgers” or “tacos” (remember, 1971 predated the chicken nugget).

What did I reply? “Artichokes and Hollandaise” of course. This caused some consternation, because finding artichokes in those days at the local A&P was nigh on impossible. Somehow, mom prevailed.

To this day, I love this meal. Thanks mom, for developing my palate properly.

American Sign Language for the White House

December 23, 2025

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Absolute assholes.

Robyn Hitchcock Gets Small

November 22, 2025

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All of these people are getting smaller. Remember how small David Byrne was? Well Robyn is getting just as small.

Actually it looks like Robyn is lots bigger than David.

I guess our thesis is just wrong. Right?

Emma opened.

Then came Robyn.

Madonna of the Wasps

So You Think You’re in Love

Oceanside

The band was tight. Those Nashville people. They just don’t loosen up.

Almost Loose But Not Quite

Lewis and I got loose with the help of some very bad Rye. Why don’t these music venues sell booze that is good? Seriously. We’re 60 now and we will pay.

When we get loose we dance and sing. About which, if you don’t like our singing then come shoot your own dang videos!

I Want to Destroy You

For some reason, this made us utter, “Life is Life,” which in turn caused Lewis to think of this. We have no idea what you will think about that. We pause now for a slight Laibach break.